Chapter 1.2

…Terrible.

I walked through the sidewalk, my gaze on the ground.

My eyelids feel heavy—

My body… even heavier.

Agh…

So many times now people have walked past me.

Am I really walking that slow…?

I don’t think so.

I squeeze my eyes close before opening it again, finally seeing the school gate near.

Looking up, the sun was there… for some reason.

I furrowed my brows as I passed through the gate.

The loud chatters from all over, unavoidable.

Then finally, the locker at the entrance.

…I stand still, facing my locker.

Letting my hand sit on the handle—simply hoping that…

…I pull it open.

Just my shoes.

I swiftly swapped my footwear before proceeding to the busy hallway.

“Good morning pres!”

…I left it at home.

I don’t really have a reason to bring it here.

“Good morning.”

It’s also—

“Excuse me, Aihara-san?”

“...Yes?”

I turned behind me right as I was entering our room.

“Is there any update on your class’ project?”

“Oh… I’m not really—”

“I forwarded an email to your class rep… but haven’t gotten a response,” she stated, looking at her phone before turning to me.

Why me…?

I’m not even—

“Aihara-san?”

“Uh…”

I stood there, like a sore thumb.

Am I supposed to know something about this?

“Oh, pres—good morning!” I heard from behind.

I slowly stepped aside, watching as her attention drifted from me to him.

“Inoue—I was waiting for your reply.”

“I’m sorry I lost my phone yesterday!”

…Can I leave now?

Probably—

I let out a sigh, finally off her hook.

The classroom was noticeably busy… it always is.

But I passed through the side, and arrived at my seat.

Hah… I let my gaze down, looking outside to see the clear weather.

…Of course it’s sunny when I finally have an umbrella.

I rest my arms on the table, before leaning forward.

I wish I could just stay at home…

I really feel—so terrible.

…Just for a bit, I rest my head on my arms.

It’ll be a while before the teacher gets here anyway.

Hah—

Hmm…

My seatmate's not here yet.

His bag’s here but… maybe he’s outside?

I wonder how he got home last week.

…I close my eyes.

Remembering how cold it felt.

…I still can’t put my head around it.

It’s not like—anybody knows me enough to do that.

Unless… it’s actually—

“Mhm… I think you’re making it worse than it seems.”

He’s here…?

“It really is though?! Watanabe-san thinks so too!”

As his friend seems to have this problem, he’s just looking at him like…

Like the guy’s overreacting or something.

He walks ahead, approaching a girl at the front, tapping her shoulder.

I can’t really… hear what they’re saying.

But immediately Watanabe laughs, looking at his friend as he tells her something.

…I wonder what happened.

I suppose I’m not—

Why would I even ask anyway…?

I squeezed my hands, leaning back on my chair as I simply kept looking.

He really seems like—someone who has no trouble… talking to people.

He makes it seem—easy.

Maybe if I just had that.

I wouldn’t be worrying like this at all.

Maybe I wouldn’t even have to… wonder who wrote—

Mm…

I shake my head, readjust my bangs.

Then look—only to suddenly see him near me.

“You okay?” he asks as he sits on his chair.

“...Yeah.”

He nods, then turns to mind his own business.

…For someone like him to feel awkward—I’m really making it worse.

With all that, I buried my face in my arms.

Shutting my eyes closed.

Squeezing my lips shut.

Just, deafening everything within the room.

Maybe now… the teacher will finally come.

Just a bit more waiting I suppose.

…I readjust myself, not really comfortable.

My hair falls over the place as I lift my head and look around.

Still no teacher.

I lean back, intertwining my fingers just to not feel cold.

Rubbing both thumbs together…

Looking to my side…

Oh, he’s sleeping.

What to do…?

My hands…

I don’t know.

I squeeze it close, then open.

…I remember being told my hands were too—

What’s the word again…?

Not small.

Skinny?

Yeah.

For them it probably is.

I think… They're fine.

Mm—

The doors slide open, gently.

An unfamiliar professor stepped in.

“Hello, everyone.”

I turned to my seatmate, still sleeping.

“Miss Furokawa is currently out on a business meeting—I was supposed to discuss your next lesson here… unit four but—we thought it’d be better to just leave you guys with a short homework?”

I leaned towards him, tapping his shoulder.

“I mean, you can even finish it today.”

Yet, he still wouldn’t wake up.

I held his arm and lightly pushed him.

“I’ll just write it on the board, it’s based on unit two and three so…”

Finally, he lifted his head and looked at me.

I point to the board.

“Write this on a half crosswise paper and—leave it to your class rep, yeah?”

Slowly he settles in his seat, then looks at me.

“Thanks,” he mutters, though his eyes are obviously still sleepy.

I meekly nod my head before turning to the board, watching as the assignment was written.

With nothing to do… I began working on it.

“...May I have a paper?” he yawned.

I nod and rip out a page, handing it to him who also began working.

Translating Japanese to English isn’t really all that difficult.

Furokawa-sensei though…

Yeah I’m not all that great.

I suck at English grammar.

It’s all messed up.

Everything’s misarranged.

It’d be easier if this was a Mandarin class…

…

For a while, the scratch of my pencil against the paper was all I heard.

Beside the noise everyone seemed to be making.

…

The rain… was—

Hmm… very strong yesterday, therefore—

I… become…? No, I arrived late.

…The rain was very strong yesterday, therefore I arrived late.

That sounds about right.

…But at the same time.

It feels kind of off.

Usually I’d ask Furokawa-sensei about it but…

…I turn to my seatmate who seems to have—already finished.

“You’re… done?”

He turned to me and nodded as he spun a pencil in his hand.

“Need help with anything?”

“...If you could,” I lightly say, and he nods again. “What was your answer for number two?”

“Ah, the rain question?”

I nod.

“How’d you write yours?” he asks.

“Well… the rain was very strong yesterday, therefore I arrived late,” I spoke in English.

“Hmm… it’s technically correct.”

“How did you say it?”

“Usually I put the literal translation, then add an alternative translation which is… The rain was really strong yesterday, so I got home late.”

Hmm… yeah that sounds better.

“Instead of ‘very strong,’ you put ‘really,’ and… why ‘so?’”

“Therefore is correct but, it isn’t really used that often… in a casual setting.”

“Oh… I see—I see.”

As for the other four questions… I asked him for help in one more before trying to do the other three myself.

I’m… hungry, therefore—

Hmm… So let's eat?

Mm… that sounds so much better.

Lastly—

While going to the convenience store… I found a cute black cat, therefore I became slightly late.

Hmm… change that ‘therefore’ to ‘so.’

So I became… a little late?

No… ‘slightly’ sounds better.

While going to the convenience store…

Wait—

Referring to my old notes, I saw something similar.

On my way to the convenience store…

I found a cute black cat…

So I became slightly late.

Yeah, sounds good enough.

I turn to look at him, his paper still on his desk.

He raises a thumbs up… asking if I’m good.

I smiled and nodded, though I always end up smiling awkwardly.

“You’re not passing your paper?” I asked.

“To the prof?”

“No, class rep.” I stood, looking at my paper and once satisfied—I turned to him and reached for his paper. “I’ll pass it.”

“Oh, thanks.”

Taking his paper… I saw his name.

Hayashi… Kousei Hayashi.

“You’re… Hayashi?”

“Mhm.”

“Hayashi.”

“What’s up?”

“No, it’s nothing.”

I turned forward and approached the class representative who was already done with his work.

“Class rep,” I called—and he looked up at me. “Can I leave this to you?”

“Oh, yeah just leave it here,” he says, patting the corner of his desk. “If anyone’s finished just give it to me!”

With that… I looked at the empty front desk.

I quietly returned to my seat.

Not really knowing what to do now.

Then I heard Hayashi’s seat scrape against the wooden floor.

…It’s weird suddenly knowing his name.

“Want anything?”

“...What?”

“I’m headed to the vending machine.”

“Oh… may I come along instead?”

He looks at me while his hand remains stuffed in his bag and nods.

I too… searched for my coin purse.

I noticed him standing in my peripheral view, and I quickly stood only to see him standing.

Once he saw me ready, he turned around to leave—while I followed suit.

Considering we left the room during class hours… The hallway is surprisingly quiet.

I could hear the muffled noise of professors teaching in other classes.

While his and my footsteps just rang ever so lightly.

“How’d you get home last night?”

“Oh… I ended up walking in the rain, when it got weaker.”

“Really? Is that why you seemed tired?”

“I suppose…”

To think he’d notice…

Or perhaps I really looked terrible.

“What about you?” I asked.

“Me? I sat in the library for a few minutes but I ended up catching a friend—he had an umbrella.”

“...The whole time I thought you were still at school,” I lightly scratched my cheek.

“Around what time did you leave then?”

“I think it was… seven twenty or something,” I mumbled.

“That’s crazy, what did you even do while you waited?”

“Nothing… really.”

As we turned one corner, we finally arrived at the vending machine.

He faced the machine and just looked.

Hmm… I’m not really in the mood for green tea.

…Maybe apple juice.

I stood behind him—leaning to the side just to see.

Yes.

They have apple juice.

I held my hand, just standing as his eyes wandered until he picked something and I heard it drop.

Crouching down to pick it up… green tea.

Hmm…

As he stood aside, I inserted a few coins and still chose to get apple juice.

He might think I’m copying him if I chose to get green tea instead…

So I pushed the button for apple juice, crouched down and picked it up.

I held it between both of my hands…

It’s cold.

Then as I began to walk back.

“Aihara-san… your coin purse,” he calls.

I turned around to see him pick it up.

And gently return it to my grasp.

“Thank you…”

That was careless of me.

I held it in my other hand before stuffing it in the pocket of my skirt.

Then, he walked forward—lightly sipping his green tea.

While I followed behind, poking the straw in the juice box.

Simply wondering, why I chose to follow him.