Chapter 1.2

Now that I’m thinking about it… how am I so incapable of getting to know others?

Ever since I had this thought, my usual daydream during class had become less frequent. I turned to look more towards what was inside the classroom; staring at everything in an attempt to gain an understanding of what I don’t.

I’m fully aware that most of the girls dislike me. I was almost bullied earlier this year, but it seemed as though it wasn’t enjoyable to poke fun at someone like me who doesn’t react. Now I’m just stuck in this status where I am present... but completely detached.

As far as I know, the majority of my classmates are strangers to me. I am familiar with Hayashi… but I wouldn’t consider him a friend, he’s just someone who.. bothered me. But also—didn’t bother me?

There’s Kujou-san who maintains a neutral stand on most things, she’s the class president after all.

That’s all I know…

I’m actually rather pathetic.

I remember back in the first day of class, everyone’s gaze was set on me. Although they were murmurs, I could hear everything as they talked whilst I entered through the school gates, attended the entrance ceremony, and walked along the hallways.

For my introduction, I felt their expectation for what I would do. Though I stuck to what I preferred—I stood with a proper posture and looked at everyone. “My name’s Aihara, I’ll be your classmate.” I said in a lower voice than I intended.

But it was at that moment, I immediately noticed the shift in their look towards me. They must’ve been surprised. It felt like I killed their expectations. Still, some were far from deterred and continued to bother me—hoping I’d reciprocate their feelings.

I finally neared my classroom, and I saw someone leaning in an open window. It was the guy from yesterday talking to someone from my class, was that the person he was looking for yesterday?

He waved at me with a strange smile so I closed my eyes and entered the classroom.

The vibe in this room, it doesn't change whether I’m present or not. This strange feeling of loneliness amidst a class full of students, it’s become less suffocating—and much more soothing.

I’m just a human being who lives a regular life. Perhaps the path I took was just different from others.

They can say anything they want about me here and there, but I’ll still pay no mind. It’s not like their words stab.

Nonetheless, I kept pondering on my thoughts as I sat still in my seat. The classroom was much quieter than usual, this kind of mood is what I usually long for..

Then, I heard something.. fairly normal. A footstep outside the classroom, something trivial you’d hear in a school. But this one caught my attention.. I don’t even know why.

But as I stared at the doorway, Hayashi finally arrived in class.

How come I heard his footsteps like that? It was so loud..

“..Hey.” he said, catching me off guard.

Why is he… wait, was I staring at him??

Involuntarily, I’d been staring at him ever since he stepped foot within the classroom. “..Hello.” I muttered with a voice too low to be heard—then looked outside the window not wanting to continue the conversation.

I sat in silence for a while, wondering if he’d get the idea or not.

Impatiently I sat, until I could no longer.

Glancing to my side, Hayashi was sitting there, not doing anything. Just as I hoped.. he understood there was nothing behind that stare. I was merely dozing off this early morning.

Now that I’m looking at him, doesn’t he kind of.. have the looks?

It’s hard to tell with the uniform’s blazer, but he seems well built—like he might be an athlete or something. I wonder what he looks like without the blazer..

As I’ve been hearing from others, Hayashi is apparently the most boring of boring, but isn’t that too far-fetched?

For me.. there’s something unique about him.

He has great manners and a keen eye.

“You’re staring at me again.” he said, there’s his keen eye.

“..I was dozing off.”

“I see.”

...

The conversation immediately died.

This kind of interaction… it’s kind of comfortable.. it’s far from heavy…

Perhaps… if it’s with Hayashi, I can finally..

..Talk to someone?

Though I wasn’t staring at him now.. He got stuck in my mind.

Who would’ve thought something like this… would happen.

For a while nothing happened. The different groups of popular students have arrived in the classroom and I reverted back to being silent not wanting to catch any of their attention.

Then, it was I that noticed him glancing at me.

I shot him a curious glance but he simply shook his head and minded his own business.

This person truly is unusual.