Chapter 1

You Were There

The cold invites itself in.

Circulating in my chest.

Down to my stomach.

Pulling me down as if to say—

Mm…

My bangs sway in refusal.

Letting out a breath.

Straightening my back.

And sitting still.

…Hah.

It’s quiet.

A bit… too quiet.

But it’s—comforting, kind of.

It’s like—

I don’t really need to perform.

Just, endure the monotony.

And everything’s fine.

Except for—there are moments where I just… feel so aware.

Like, everything’s suddenly so distracting.

I don’t exactly know how to—

Everything just—

…Maybe I’m just tired.

I’m—used to it anyway.

“...don’t you think so? Aihara-san?”

…?

Huh.

“...Me?” I mutter.

He tilts his head, as if to wait for an answer.

“Y-yeah.”

“See,” he flatly says to the girl who promptly leaves.

I don’t really…

His gaze lands at me for a moment before minding its own business.

“My bad for pulling you in like that.”

“...It’s fine,” I whisper. “...”

“...”

He’s—

To think he’d suddenly stop talking…

I lift my head, watching him remain listless.

Then around the room, the same girl stood questioning a different student.

I wonder what she’s doing…

Is she approaching everyone?

…But it didn’t seem like she needed anything.

My mouth hung open as if to ask my seatmate.

Though I suppose it doesn’t really matter.

He then looks at me.

So I shake my head…

And breathe for a moment.

Before letting out a sigh…

I acted strange again.

…But he’s the one who suddenly—

No…

I squeeze my hands a few—several times.

Stretching them open before looking outside.

The sky—really dark.

I always forget to check the forecast.

I just hope it doesn’t rain.

“Hayashi, canteen?”

“This early…?”

“I mean, she’s still not here.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“Tch, you missed out on a treat.”

“Don’t believe you.”

I turned to watch him, rhythmically tapping his table as he stared at the blank board.

He’s really… laid-back.

Now, as if to reflect the darkened sky—the room fell in a strange silence.

Nobody appeared to do anything.

Almost as if… I’m losing grasp of time.

But of course—

“Apologies for being late,” our professor entered, carrying too much paper.

Finally…

“Class rep, you submitted the papers last time right?”

“Yes…?”

“Can you—some names I couldn’t find…”

“Ah, they were absent when we had the activity.”

“...Oh really?”

I wonder what we’ll do today…

“I’ll be back,” she says before swiftly leaving the room.

I looked outside.

The sky didn’t really seem to get brighter.

Just please… don’t rain.

I sunk to my seat, fully leaning on the back of my chair as I crossed my arms.

It’s still so early.

I don’t think we have anything to pass today.

Just… lessons, after lessons.

Mm…

My arms laid rest on my desk, then I looked around to see what everyone’s up to.

Everybody’s just… waiting.

So I buried my head in my arms.

…

…

A few chatters flew around here and there.

But subsequently…

…I’m bored.

There’s nothing to do.

I forgot to visit the library.

There isn’t even anything to think about.

…I dislike this.

…The doors slid open again.

“Okay, I’m back.”

I lifted my head and saw students steadily settle back to their seats.

“I’ve already recorded your scores… may I know who didn’t get to do this?”

Several hands are raised.

“I see… visit me in the faculty after class today,” she states before finally pushing the papers aside. “Well, I like how most of you seem to understand the previous topic. The student with the highest—,” she mutters before giving me a glance. “I suppose there’s no need to say.”

“Anyway,” she clapped. “Bring out your textbooks, we'll… move to probability theory.”

A notebook and calculator laid bare on my table.

My pen stuck idle on my hand, until she finally began.

The class shifts to this mood whenever she speaks…

Everybody’s just listening.

Though distractingly… being sat at the back has its cons.

I can’t really tune out the other’s silent chatters.

But still, you get used to it.

…It’s times like these that—

Nothing really happens.

And… It's comforting.

“Next time don’t forget to bring your calculators, okay?”

…I don’t really know.

Ah…

Like those bland pages of books.

It takes a while to pass through.

But eventually…

“Any clarifications?”

…The class just fell silent, except for one raised hand.

“Hm? Hayashi? Is there something you don’t understand?”

“The whole thing.”

…Is he serious?

Seriously…?

A couple snickers leaked here and there.

“About the final answer… will you have room for errors?”

“Ah of course, the answer varies when you round values anyway so it’s fine.”

“I see, thank you.”

Then he sits.

As if he didn’t just…

…I scratch my cheek before pushing everything under my desk.

The classroom moved as everyone began leaving for break.

Looking outside… it still really hasn’t changed.

“You think it’ll rain?”

He’s…

“...Don’t know,” I say.

“Ah… forgot my umbrella,” he scratches the back of his head as he stuffs his hand in his bag. “Did you bring yours?”

I… shake my head, and he seems—amused.

“Nothing we can do about it but pray I guess, I’m heading off now.”

He stands and waves his hand a little before leaving.

…

I let out a sigh as my gaze returned to the darkened sky.

I guess he’s right…

There's nothing we can do about it.

Slowly, I steadied myself onto my feet.

Looking around to see the few people eating together inside the room, before quickly leaving myself.

The hallways remained alive, not too busy.

…I walk ahead, passing by other students.

Keeping my head low as I watched my step.

I stop at one corner, feeling the side of my stomach.

Maybe I sat strangely earlier…

I continue ahead and find the vending machine.

Though someone’s using it… so I stand with a bit of distance.

The selection never really changes.

I just hope the green tea’s in stock.

For a while he just stands there…

Maybe after this I’ll go to the rooftop.

Or the library…

Not with a drink I suppose.

To the rooftop then, it’s not like people hang out there.

“O-oh, were you waiting?”

I realized he was now looking at me.

…I simply tilt then shake my head.

It’s not like I was rushing him.

“You can use it first, I still… can’t decide,” he says scratching the back of his head.

He steps aside and I insert my coins, picking the… yes it’s in stock.

After it fell, I crouched down to pick up my drink.

“Aihara-san,” he calls.

Does he know me…?

“Could you recommend a drink?”

“...I—don’t really know you?”

“Oh… I’m Akira Nishino, we were classmates a few years ago.”

“I don’t remember…”

“Is that so…?”

A sweat slides down my cheek…

Perhaps I should’ve remembered my peers more.

“Still, what do you usually get?”

“Uh… green tea.”

“All the time?”

“Not… really.”

“What else do you get then?”

“...Juice.”

“Hmm…”

He holds his chin before inserting a coin and a pineapple juice drops to the bottom.

“Thanks Aihara-san,” he smiles as he pokes the straw into the juice box. “Are you doing anything?”

“No…?”

“Want to hang out?”

“No… I’m—returning to my room.”

“I see, see you around then,” he waves, then I turn around to walk back my steps.

I don’t really remember anyone named Noshino...

Not like I was close to any of them.

But he knows me for some reason…

…I was supposed to go to the rooftop.

Maybe tomorrow.

I return to the quiet classroom.

Walking back to my seat and realizing he still hasn’t returned.

I glance outside for a moment, before finally sitting down.

The cold drink had moistened my palm.

I took my handkerchief and placed it on my desk… I don’t really want to get my notes wet later.

Reaching for the cap to twist open… it was stuck.

I pat my hand against my skirt before trying again, until I just barely managed to get it open.

Looking around… I twist it further and finally—open it.

…

…My hand remained idle, whilst I sat back.

The room fell quiet again.

This time, our professor sat at the front.

Handling all the papers we just submitted for him to grade immediately…

To think he’d surprise us like that.

I look down not knowing what to do, something just feels off.

Should I have gotten a snack earlier…?

Though… I can just eat at home anyway.

Hah… I turned to look outside to suddenly notice—raindrops on the window.

For what I thought was already dark… had gotten worse.

And now, I sat empty-handed as the rain began to fall.

Looking at my seatmate… he stared back at me blankly—his eye twitching.

Agh… I scratched my head.

I should’ve just brought my umbrella.

“Only half of you passed, unbelievable,” our professor clicked his tongue—unable to fathom the papers he was looking at.

But even he turns to look outside.

Watching the raging storm unfolding beyond these windows.

…Complaints spread across the room, though slightly muffled by the rain.

I watched the raindrops streaming down…

I wonder what time I’ll get home today.

Soon the bells chimed, uplifting the silence.

Everyone immediately rushed home, while I was left behind.

It has somewhat calmed down a little… but still—raining.

Slowly I fixed my bag, and noticed he was leaving too.

What do I even say…?

I… wonder how he’ll get home.

As he’s packing his stuff, he notices me.

“Will you be fine?”

“Ah… yes, I suppose.”

“Be safe then, I’ll just burn time in the library.”

“...Yeah,” I nod, and watch him turn to leave.

Be safe…

I let out a small breath.

Holding my bag in hand.

Turning to the window, and watching the rain fall.

Do I just… walk in the rain?

…Probably not.

I checked around to see if the classroom’s been settled before finally stepping out to the hallway and closing the door behind me.

A cold wind surged through, seemingly from outside.

How cold…

Through every step within these hallways, I could barely hear my footsteps.

Now as I got closer, it truly hit me… how I won’t be getting home anytime soon.

…I dropped my bag on the wood platform, and reached for my shoe locker.

I take off my school shoes and pull out my loafers… and something falls.

I stood frozen, my shoes in my hand—as it lingered in the air.

Pure white.

…A letter?

Immediately I put the shoe in the locker, and grabbed a hold of the letter before it could fall.

Is this for me…?

That’s strange.

I…

Looking outside… the rain.

…I’ll read this later.